Hi there. The question of who keeps the engagement ring when a couple separates before marriage does not have a single, straightforward legal answer. There are two different answers that could apply. The first applies to couples who are not in a de facto relationship, and the second applies to couples who are in a de facto relationship. In most cases, the first answer will apply.

If an engaged couple separates before marriage and are not in a de facto relationship, the dispute can be resolved under Australian contract law. According to these laws, an engagement ring is a gift given in exchange for the promise of marriage occurring in the future. If the marriage does not take place, the person who gave the ring has the right to have it returned to them.

There are exceptional situations where the ring-receiver may be able to keep the ring, for instance, where the ring-giver has broken the promise by displaying violence or entering a steady and sexual relationship with a third party. Based solely on the information you have provided, it seems that the exception would not apply, meaning the ring may have to be returned. If returning the ring is impossible because it has been destroyed, damaged, lost or sold to an third party, then a payment equivalent to the ring’s value would be the appropriate remedy. You may want to discuss the specifics of your situation with a lawyer to confirm whether the exception applies.

Different rules apply to de facto couples. A de facto couple is one that has a child together or has been living together for at least two years. In these situations, the ring will be treated in the same manner as all other shared property of the couple that is divided up on separation. If a couple seeks the assistance of a court in dividing their property, the court will not make any presumptions about who is entitled to the ring and will instead consider what is ‘just and equitable’ in the circumstances. As the court makes its decision based on the specific details of your case and has wide discretion in its decision, it is difficult to give a definitive answer of who is entitled to the ring in a de facto separation.

Suggested way forward

Separation is a difficult experience and the laws pertaining to your question are not clear cut. You would benefit from speaking to a family lawyer to help you understand your legal rights and to negotiate on your behalf. By pressing the “Consult a Lawyer” button, LawAdvisor can help you search for experienced lawyers and obtain fee proposals for their services. Costs for legal advice and representation will vary between providers based on experience and the scope of services.